What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

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Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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Knock knock? Who's there? The WNBA. LOL

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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There is a car full of black people.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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