What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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Chuck Norris died.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

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Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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