If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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9/11

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops