A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

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Y2K

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Three guys walk into a club, one is a fat ugly chode face bastard, the second one is a 4 foot 2 cricket champion and the third is a handsome young man.

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want to go home? yea

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What is Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

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A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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A owl into a bar This joke is a hoot

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Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

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What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

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Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

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Canada's army

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Where else? The junk yard

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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