i wish i was a tree !

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Icecream

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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Why does Jerry sandusky like little boys? Because each and every intellectual human being have different interests

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http://www.fotokristall.narod.ru/mov0001.swf

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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aaaa

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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what do you call a retarded child with a doll in his hand while crying and running up a hill in bell bottom jeans in august at night a block of ice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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