If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

d

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Laura Pratz..

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a female duck? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

thumb_up thumb_down +1

omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I like your hair

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats 2+2? 69 LOL

thumb_up thumb_down -3

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops