How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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A Muslim blows up a bar

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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Hey Caleb.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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American Idol

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Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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