GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

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your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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Adam Sandler.

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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What should I name my dog?

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

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womens rights!

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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