When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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in the begining... god made some stuff

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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What did you say? I don't know.

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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