Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drug dealer? An alcoholic is an extremely corrupted, and unhealthy living person. Though so is a drug dealer... They are both very harmful situations in many ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats pale and white your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

(insert Anti-Joke here)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

thumb_up thumb_down +15

john liked the paper........ so he took it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops