Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

your mama is so fat she wears big pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do Kenyans run so much? Because they like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why were there moans coming from the sandusky household Mike sandusky, was having sex with his beutiful wife, maria meanwhile Mike's cousin, jerry was sitting in a jail cell

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

thumb_up thumb_down -27

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 recently got out of prison for violent rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -43

World Of Warcraft

thumb_up thumb_down -53

All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

thumb_up thumb_down -97

what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

thumb_up thumb_down +64

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops