Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

Violets are red Roses are blue I scrrewed that up Now can i screw you?

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

Your brother is so ugly that sometimes he gets teased at schools and comes home crying.

Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

What's not red? No tomatoes.

A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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