Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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666 im christian

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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Banana(s)

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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jewish people like other jewish people.

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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