What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

Why was johny late to school? He died

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

Knock knock Who's there? What.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

memes

Women's rights

how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

A man walks into a bar. End of story.

look left now look right. washing machine

What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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