Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

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i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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I tried to post an unfunny punch-line-less joke on anti-joke. It worked and I got tons of emotional affirmation from it and stuff, so thanks.

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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