Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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My mom's dead

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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World Of Warcraft

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Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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