A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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Lets go Detroit Pistons!

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops