Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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Banana(s)

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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dead babies

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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Never said that friend, anyway I got to put this down, people are asking why I am typing anti jokes. Well, they should all know how much I love spamming by now. ;). Now, you better do not have someone hack this site, it will be a hell of a lot easier explaining this, if this information is not recovered much later, days after getting hacked away. Give it three months, half a year or so, and I will contact you if you like. Have a nice day.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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A homeless person dies.

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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