what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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What should I name my dog?

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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i hate you.

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops