How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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69

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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What's worse then finding a repeated joke on antijokes? Finding a real joke.

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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I tried to post an unfunny punch-line-less joke on anti-joke. It worked and I got tons of emotional affirmation from it and stuff, so thanks.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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What's your name? You tell me.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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