What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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