Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

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Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

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GAY PEOPLE

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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