How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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Robin, get in the car.

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Never said that friend, anyway I got to put this down, people are asking why I am typing anti jokes. Well, they should all know how much I love spamming by now. ;). Now, you better do not have someone hack this site, it will be a hell of a lot easier explaining this, if this information is not recovered much later, days after getting hacked away. Give it three months, half a year or so, and I will contact you if you like. Have a nice day.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Fuck her

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Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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