roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

look at there!! an entire dog!!

Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

Tacos

why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...