Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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Fuck her

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jewish people like other jewish people.

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World peace

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Penis in a box.

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

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Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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