- Anti Joke

What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

Hi colton

what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

Miscarriages.

What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

Why did the Jew ask for a napkin? something funny about the holocaust

What's wrong with your hand!!!!!???? nothing.

Wy do boys like big butts ? Cause it goes in easy :.:

Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??