your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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but there is a road to the super market

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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minorities.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Women Drivers.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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