What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Nathan Gooderson.

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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b

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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Anti jokes.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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