How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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womens rights!

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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