A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

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What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

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Why do you bury an Asian on the side of a hill? Because he's dead.

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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