Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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A black person in the NHL

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How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

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What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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what is brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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SNICHOLS AND DOOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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What is Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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How do you get a dead baby out of a blender? Doritos.

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roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

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World Of Warcraft

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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