How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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What do you call Obama? - the president

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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