What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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A black guy walks in to a bar.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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Women rights..

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops