If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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memes

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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