Mmmmmmm Lemons

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I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Your mama is so stupid she had to go back to school to get her GED in order to get a job that could properly support her family.

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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where do the women go? the womanarium

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

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What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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Avery has crabs.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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