Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

Poopsack Jones

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

where do the women go? the womanarium

What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

Freddie Mercurys teeth

two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

...and I'm a Mormon.

8=D

Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

How do you stop a train? Throw a fridge at it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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