why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

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What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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whats pink and fluffy pink fluff

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WNBA

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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