when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

look left now look right. washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Black people are clen.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Patrick is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops