What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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Fuck her

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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whats gay ? you

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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The economy sucks. REM broke up. A man killed himself.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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