What lives underground? Grandpa

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lewis bedford

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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WNBA

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops