When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

Time flies like a banana.

R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

whats pale and white your ass.

Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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