How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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What is Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

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SNICHOLS AND DOOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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How do you get a dead baby out of a blender? Doritos.

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roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

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World Of Warcraft

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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