whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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