3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

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Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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My sister has to take a dump

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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