What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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aaaa

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Kim Kardashian's Marriage.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

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Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Rape.

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Your breath smells like onions.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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