Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

SAY

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I scream. You scream. We all scream.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

thumb_up thumb_down +11

... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Windows Vista

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Who's there? FBI

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

two fish are in a tank.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops