Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

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What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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