How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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memes

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look left now look right. washing machine

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

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why did the chicken cross the road Why not

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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