A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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Can I touch it?

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how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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Women's rights.

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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What's gay and gay? Joe

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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Windows Vista

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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knock knock whos there .. derp

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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What is brown and smells? Poop

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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