Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What do you call Obama? - the president

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

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Baseball

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I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

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What did the anti-joke say? Nothing for it is an anti-joke which is a group of word formed to create a sentence and sentences cannot speak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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