look left now look right. washing machine

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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World peace

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Penis in a box.

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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jewish people like other jewish people.

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Fuck her

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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