Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops