If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

Why did Willy kill the black man? Because not.

A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

96

whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

What's gay and gay? Joe

Miscarriages.

A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigger

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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