Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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Can I touch it?

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A man walks into a bar.

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Black people

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

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Yeah, totally.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

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oops

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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