What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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do you know what's so funny? yup

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once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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