Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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Don't rape me!

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Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops