Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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How do you leave a man in suspense...

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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WNBA

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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96

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops