Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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And then the devil said "Let there be Justin beiber"

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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holly, a japanese boy and an american boy walked into a internet cafe. They then began to play runescape so they could train together and trade rare items.

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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a little girl gets raped

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Banana(s)

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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