A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +45

*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's your name? You tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

hi

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Jacob Edwards has friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

the chicken whent boomand then died

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

holly, a japanese boy and an american boy walked into a internet cafe. They then began to play runescape so they could train together and trade rare items.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops