- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar. End of story.

Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

a little girl gets raped

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

Hey Patrick Yeah? I found something funnier then 24 Give it to me buddy 25

Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

why did the chicken cross the road.

Knock Knock. Shut up.

What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

lewis bedford

How Long is a Chinese man.

Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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